My End
by terraXbbXFAN2
Summary: Rated for Character suicide. Terra contacts Beast boy after things change


My End

Authors note: this is Things Change from Terra's POV in mostly diary form. I own nothing, trust me, teen titans would be adult content and still going.

_Dear Diary,_

_ Hey it's me, you know, Terra. Beast Boy saw me today. I'm not sure what I should do. I don't think he'll just let it go, when it comes to me, he'll never let it go. And I was right. Later that same day he walked around and found me at the school I go to now. He probably searched a lot of places for me: Ben's Dinner, the desert, the mall, and the amusement park or something. I think I was right judging by how tired he looked. I was just talking to my friends when he came up to me. I pretended not to know him when they asked me, it hurt too bad to think of everything I've done and looking at him made the memories come up. I had to act like I didn't know him. He got me though when I still laughed at him, same old me. But I just had to go with him, he looked so down, when I accepted the pizza offer he looked like a three-year old at Christmas. I never wanted him to see me that day. I never had wanted for that rock to go flying; I just lost control like I always do. I just had to get his brain-freeze joke. He told me about my past and I wanted to cry, he remembered everything about me. I bet he noticed my ice cubes crunching, my stupid powers. I love him so much. I could never hurt him again. I almost killed him, I wish that he would let me go, I tried to kill him! I wouldn't want to be around someone like me. I hate me. I had to go to his tower and act surprised. You know, he actually threw mud at face. Like I would've stopped it, I had to pretend. I just feel like crying right now. _

Next day

_Dear Diary,_

_ He came to my school again today. He eventually got me to talk to him. I couldn't keep it up. I wish he would just leave before I just broke down. This is getting so hard. I just can't go back to the way things were, too much pain. I practically admitted that I was her at the end of our conversation. I said that the girl he wants me to be is just a memory, which is true since I can't be that girl anymore, she's a memory. I told him things change. But I didn't want them to. He managed to get that stupid communicator to me without me knowing, probably when he was done titan duties he got it into my locker. I just want to call him and tell him everything but I can't. Well, I'm going to go cry some more. This may be my last entry. I started cutting again, I just can't deal. But I'm going to call him. I need to._

"*****Terra calling Beast Boy, come in Beast boy*****" I muttered into the phone hoping no one else heard the message, I called his private extension, I just hope they hadn't changed it.

"Beast Boy to Terra. What's up?" He answered back with a very shocked expression on his face. He never thought I would call again, let alone call crying. His voice was laced with concern

"I'm sorry, for everything. I'm sorry for trying to kill you. I'm sorry for going with Slade. I'm sorry for lying to you. I just needed you to know this. I got to go now. I love you darling." I hung up after I heard a faint "I love you, too."

This was it. I held the knife to my jugular vein and I sliced. Good bye to life.

Even after I was dead, I watched my body until it was found. Beast boy had come searching for me and found my crappy apartment and terrible way of living. He found my already dead body and held it and cried. I felt terrible for him but I had to do it. He would move on now. He would hopefully let me go. I continued to watch until after the memorial service they had for me. A bunch of titans were there and even a few villains came. It was a beautiful service. They had donated my organs and cremated me, just like I had always wanted. I loved them. After Beast boy spoke about me, I swooped down and lightly kissed his cheek before looking to my tombstone and flying away.

_Tara Markov_

_1992-2008_

_A Teen Titan_

_A true friend_

_A great love, Lost_

_A true diamond in the rough._


End file.
